Do you find yourself working long past quitting time to redo an assignment? Needing to be the best at every project you tackle? Then you might want to read “Time Off for Good Behavior, How Hardworking Women Can Take a Break and Change Their Lives.” Mary Lou Quinlan found herself more and more successful according to the culture’s achievement measures as she applied the following behaviors: Type A – Good Girl – Pleasing – Perfectionism.

Mary Lou earned her way to the “top” as a CEO of a large marketing firm only to realize that her quality of life was at an all time low. Weary of overusing these well honed behaviors, she took a break and claimed a fresh start. (If you choose to claim a fresh start for yourself, click here to receive my complimentary series of six "Gifts of Serenity".)

Mary Lou became aware that all four of the above behaviors are externally oriented versus being in tune with her own internal compass. When she asked herself what aspects of being CEO truly brought her pleasure she knew she was in the wrong job. She was clear and she confidently told her boss, the Chairman of the Board, she was leaving and she showed him her plan for a business that she had passion for.

Being clear on what she wanted paid off. Mary Lou was invited to put that business “Just Ask a Woman” under the umbrella of the company she was formerly CEO of. While building that business, she interviewed 3,000 women. (Learn about the results of that survey through her book “Just Ask a Woman.”)

As I read Mary Lou’s story, I realized that just the week before I spent 50% more time than was necessary preparing to facilitate a day-long retreat. The retreat went extremely well, and what I saw out of that experience was how the perfectionist in me goes crazy to prevent “failure.” My commitment is to notice when the perfectionist shows up and invite her to dance or go smell the flowers! Then I will have access to my own inner wisdom and can trust myself in the moment. (Hello, Mary Lou!)

What are our alternatives when we find ourselves over using the Perfectionist or the Pleaser? For each of us it may be a bit different, and here are some suggestions:

• Notice how you are being with a project or task. Are you relaxed and focused or is your focus rigid and tiring?
• If you find yourself in the rigid and inflexible space, PAUSE. Take a few deep breaths, notice where that puts you.
• If you feel freed up, great! If not, shift your energy through a walk, dancing, or singing to one of your favorite songs. This may require a short break, and your investment will be well rewarded.
• Now set an intention for how you would like to be with this project and make a fresh start!
• To find additional ways to have a fresh start click here to receive my complimentary "Gifts of Serenity" series.  (For those of you that just clicked on the link to order these.  Thank you!  Your gift will arrive soon via email.)

Your comments on what helps you shift out of the Perfectionist or Pleaser are welcome!