About a month ago when I decided I wanted to know more about my memory and the brain, the lights started going on.  Previously I was not really aware that aging doesn’t naturally mean decline in brain function. Genes do play a role, and there is scientific proof that we can improve brain function even as we age. Scientists now know that the aging brain continues to have a remarkable ability to grow, adapt, and change patterns of connection. We can improve our brain function with exercise, healthy eating, and learning new skills and information.

Another critical component of having a healthy brain is making sure that the nerve cells which send information through-out the brain are used and nurtured. Previously I had heard that it was all about doing cross-word puzzles, reading, and keeping good company so that my mind is engaged. Now, I am learning there is a whole new area of science to be considered called Neurobics*.

Neurobics is purposefully named to bring forth the association of aerobics – physical exercise.  Like swimming uses many different muscle groups to make the body more fit over all, Neurobics takes that approach with the brain. “Neurobics makes the brain more agile and flexible overall so that it can take on any mental challenge, whether it be memory, task performance or creativity.” Neurobics success is not just dependent on how we work the brain but takes advantage of the way the brain naturally works.  

Try a neurobic exercise this week, step in and out of the shower with the opposite foot than the one you normally use. Let me know your experience through comments on this blog next week.

Stay tuned there will be more easy ways to stimulate your brain’s function.

• Keep Your Brain Alive – 83 Neurobic Exercises to help prevent memory loss and increase mental fitness by Lawrence C. Katz, Ph.D. and Manning Rubin. (quote above, page

There’s plenty to do during the holidays – baking, greeting cards, parties – that its easy to forget how to BE. I recently got together with new colleagues, and we shared what keeps us calm and centered in the midst of the festivities.

Cheryl draws on her yoga practice and a simple head roll. Allow your head to gently fall forward and move it slowly from side to side as your breathing deepens and you relax. This simple movement provides an amazing one- minute spa experience.  Try it!

One of the many tips Elisa shared about staying organized during the holidays is to mark out blocks of time on your calendar for the things that you think are most important. She uses green highlighter for business activities, yellow for pleasure, etc.  I will begin that today.

My tip is to become mindful of our values.  Mine for this season are calm, connection and wonder. Connection is not so difficult this time of year as so many people are reaching out. Not only do I have the holidays in December but I have a birthday as well!  So taking time to be calm through meditation and qigong is essential for me.

And the last value I honor is for my little girl within.  I look at the snowflakes, the twinkling lights and the smiles with the eyes of a child, and it never fails to fill me with wonder. 

So, take time this evening or tomorrow morning with a hot cup of your favorite beverage to decide how you want to BE through the holidays and notice how the doing is so much more fun!  Happy Holidays!

With gratitude and joy,  Sandra

Over the last weekend I attended a Women’s Retreat where the theme was “Passion:  I will not die an unlived  life!”  We were challenged to risk and reveal ourselves, to be authentic.  Living from our most authentic self opens the doorway to living more fully.  Three gems I gained over the weekend are:

First, revealing oneself has rewards.  As I stepped up to the challenge of revealing myself, I found that in talking about hard things, things I regret  for example, I became softer, more compassionate with myself and others.  I also was freed up to begin anew, choose how I would like to be different going forward.  A refreshed sense of strength and vitality came with that.

Secondly, how do we deal with life’s disasters?  I have just chosen to use the most DRAMATIC word for effect! (>:)  The truth is, we all have hard times, heavy losses, and set- backs that are significant to us.  Reinhold Niebuhr,an American theologian, suggests that there are stages in dealing with our “disasters” that allow us to claim value from them.  The three stages are: (1) shipwrecked  (2) gladness,  and (3) amazement.  A colleague and I decided that we would modify this to read: shipwrecked, relief and amazement since gladness seemed to sweeten things before we were ready.  For example, my most recent experience of burn-out did not provide gladness for me, however, it did provide a sense of relief when I finally owned up to the fact that I had fully participated in creating the burn-out.  Thus, I could also climb out of the hole that I created.  Amazement has arrived as I have experienced a new sense of joy and resilience out of living through that burn-out and learning from it.

Third, Ram Dass was quoted as saying “You have to take the curriculum as it comes to you.”  This message definitely struck home.  I can be so enamored with the way I’d like life to be, that I sometimes resist embracing it as it is.   What if we embrace life as it is and look for the treasures that are here in front of us?  Another option offered by Ram Dass is: “Everything in your life is there as a vehicle for your transformation. Use it!”

I invite you to use these tools as stepping stones to living abundantly.

Mary Catherine Bateson is definitely riding the wave with aplomb at 70!  She just published her fifth book, “Composing a Future Life, the Age of Active Wisdom.”  She was in Seattle recently speaking at Town Hall about her life and book.  One of her major messages as an anthropologist is that change is a major ingredient in creating your “one sweet and precious” life, and that is as true at 50 and above as at any age.

Riding the Wave

Love it or hate it, change is a constant.  Leaving the womb was, no doubt, not the most pleasant experience to our very new self!  But there we were being thrown out of Eden.  So, perhaps we have been in a type of Eden in the U.S. of A.  Secure, generative, isolated enough to gain our own strength before having to deal with the larger world.  Some of us personally have been that fortunate, but almost all of us right now are saying, “Ok, enough already, can’t we get back to “normal?!!”  Most likely not, most likely we get to work with what is and make the most of it.

Making the most of it was what Mary Catherine was up to when she wrote “Composing a Life” twenty years ago.  She shared the personal stories of five inspiring women showing how their ambitions are constantly refocused on new goals and possibilities.  Mary Catherine provides examples of the fluid movement of adaptation given their relationships with spouses, children, and friends, their ever-evolving work, and their gender.  All shows us that life itself is a creative process.*

Although women for decades had been asking for new freedoms, at the time that she wrote “Composing a Life,” there was indeed individual and collective resistance.  Resistance to women’s taking on new professional roles while figuring out how to be mothers, wives, and friends at the same time.  Resistance is with us today, have you noticed?!  Are you, like me, definitely eager to have our economy “get back to normal?!”  Guess what, this is the new normal, how will we optimize it!

Before optimizing the changes, we definitely are called to deal with our own resistance?  It can show up as confusion, anger, running away (watching television, getting busier and busier), etc.  Well, my inner Diva knows that what I resist persists!  So, when I actually take a moment, or a weekend, or a month or two to accept where I am, an inner calm begins to return, and external circumstances seem less dominant.  Then I have the band width to begin to access my assets in my current situation.  This definitely allows me to begin to ride the waves of my life.

So, thank you, Mary Catherine, for capturing our current collective life movies with insightful perspective.  In doing so, you help us be more at choice!

How about you, are you riding the wave, or being towed under by it?

What’s the form of your resistance?

What impact might accepting your current situation have?

I have been involved with the teachings of Landmark Education on and off since the 70s and one of the powerful points they make is that we are all in this together.  If my family and friends are not happy, my happiness is compromised. This is not really new. However, I think as we have become connected with people all over the world through trade, travel and the media it has become more evident to us all.  However, there is an inherent challenge here.  Human beings are self-centered creatures!

As I build my marketing skills the constant message is “be sure your prospective customers know ‘What’s in it for me!’”  American marketing promotes a “me” culture and some say we are stuck in the adolescent stage. Breaking through to the next stage of maturity as a culture is to cultivate community where everyone counts. 

Those of us who are seasoned women are in a terrific position to help lead this effort, in fact we always have been.  As women and mothers we help others.  When this unwritten law has gotten out- of-hand in our lives we have suffered.  Ironically coming back to our own well-being may indeed involve caring about the needs of others. However, it requires the wisdom of boundaries and caring for our own needs first so that we are capable of helping others.

In this culture wracked by economic and political uncertainty, we need each other more than ever.  When we operate as if only the employed count, we lose.  Millions experience a diminished sense of self anytime they have a hard time providing for themselves and their loved ones. If each member of the community is seen as vital, most can become vital, and we all benefit.  By looking around and seeing what we can do in our neighborhood and communities of choice (church, hobbies, work) we can expand the value of each member for the good of the whole.

What might this look like?  A couple of ideas come to mind. Twice in the last five years my neighborhood has had our lives significantly incapacitated by storms.  The power lines were down for over a week in one instance and in the other snow and lack of plowed roads had us “housebound” for several days. (“Walking in yaktraks was great fun, actually!)  So, one option is to develop a disaster plan of action in your neighborhood.  This would mean you would actually get to know the names, not just a few faces in your neighborhood.  Rather than fear being incapacitating, it could be a pro-active motivator to cultivate community.

A colleague came up with a second idea.  Why don’t we create a community among friends and colleagues to nature simplicity, sustainability and support? We could find out what each member enjoys doing and is good at, what needs members have and match needs to talents.  That goes for resources, too.  If you live near each other share gardening tools, exchange books, baby sitting, healthy recipes, ways to save money, etc. Ok, for sure you get to decide what types of things work for you.  Sharing these experiences will open your heart, and as you reach out and involve yourself you will feel a sense of vitality and joy by being involved in something beyond yourself.

What does community mean to you?

In what ways do you choose to cultivate community?

I first joined Toastmasters in the 1970’s. Because it was an all women’s club, I didn’t feel quite as self-conscious, and over time I gained confidence in expressing my point of view. About 7 years ago, I felt it was timeto reconnect with that authentic voice, and see how it has changed over 30 years.  At that time I joined Wry Toastmasters in Bellevue (www.wrytoastmasters.org) and I’m so glad I did. When you’re speaking in public there’s no place to hide. And when you’re not trying to hide, you shine a little brighter.

Just last week I spoke about my experience of coming back after burn-out. Just speaking my thoughts out loud gave me a tremendous sense of personal victory, as I traced my “falling down” and my subsequent return though grace to a place of gratitude and joy. Toastmasters  is a supportive place for self-expression. There you will grow and be encouraged, regardless of where you are in your speaking ability, self-confidence, and leadership skills.  And I love the diversity – home-schooling mothers, entrepreneurs, techies, accountants, and lawyers, representing 7 nationalities!

If this sounds like an ad for Toastmasters, it is in a way. Whether it is this organization or another, the lesson I’ve learned is that to find your voice you have to use it! One of my favorite mentors has been through his own personal and professional trials and come back again and again.  He came from being a “so-so” speaker to a double contest winner at the district level and competed nationally.  His favorite advice: “Stage time, stage time, stage time!” He knows each time we put ourselves in front of the group we grow.

My own journey with public speaking was first as an observer, and later as a participant. And yet still today, speaking extemporaneously is a growth edge, but I love having the opportunity to take a risk (especially when it is in such a supportive environment).  There’s a real rush knowing that you’re going to speak your mind in front of others.

So if you want to find your voice, grow and build confidence, consider public speaking. Who knows, someone might really want to hear what you have to say!

Life’s twists provided Jennifer Jeffries with an opportunity to turn her life around.  This Aussie with an attitude found herself wound around a power pole at what might have been considered the peak of her corporate career. That experience led her on a very different track, a track to well-being that she decided to share.  Today as an author, international speaker, and health practitioner she is helping women and men of all ages take “7 Steps to Sanity –for anyone who wants to have it all without sacrificing their health, sense of humour or sanity.”

Since I experienced Jennifer first-hand, I know her fresh, candid sense of humor captures an audience’s attention and starts attendees thinking about what’s really worthwhile.  Given Jennifer’s outlandish approach, when I got her book, I decided to turn right to her 7th Step, which is Chill Out, and it has two components:

1. Get a bit of perspective – is discussed below
2. Remember, life was meant to be easy! – I’ll reflect on next week

When was the last time you had your day turned upside down?  Recently I found that my automobile was unsafe to drive, the brakes needed immediate attention.  So, I had an opportunity to grumble and turn into a first class victim or REJOICE and be thankful the problem was discovered when it was.  All that was required was a shift inperspective.  The result, I ended up learning about the eastside bus system.  I also gave myself a pat on the back when I found out that using my intuition on service garages saved me over $200 and some peace of mind.

Jennifer adds a bit of punch to the idea of shifting perspective by asking, “Will plans shifted or your ’to do’  list remaining unfinished change the course of your life or history?”  Probably not!  So, accept life’s imperfections and get on with it!  Sporting that kind of flexibility can definitely reduce the stress in your life, and you are much more likely to enjoy your day and reap health benefits as well.

As you reflect over the last week, what was your relationship with time?  Did you feel time pressured or satisfied with how you spent your time?  You may have noticed, either way you are in charge, you determine your experience of time.

That’s what Einstein Time is all about as Gay Hendricks proposes in Chapter 6 of The BIG LEAP.  We are each incharge of our own time. Once we take the “Big Leap” and accept full responsibility for our time, it is no longer drives us.  Gone is the continuous time pressure because we are choosing our relationship with time and how we use it.

If you are saying “just a minute!”  I can understand.  I realized once again in the last few months that my relationship with time was an area of my life where I was often out of integrity and not satisfied, so I have been “on the hunt” for new options. Gay Hendricks definitely proposes a radical change.  Here are his steps for developing a new and more satisfying relationship with time:

•  Notice how much complaining you do about time and STOP.
•  Take that freed up energy and time that you have spent complaining and worrying and put it into choosing what you really want to do and with what attitude.
•  Notice taking charge of your time requires vigilance (no fair blaming others for not having enough) and spunk!  You are developing new ways of thinking and doing!

To my delight I discovered I began to put this new approach to time into action over the last two months.  My stress level was not where I wanted it to be, so I sought out a new health practitioner to help me deal with it.

As a result my body is releasing old stress, and the more relaxed I am, the more I want to be there.  I find myself more flexible and happier!  To take on the new treatment required my setting aside three plus hours each week. Where was that time going to come from with what already felt like a full schedule?  Well, I set my priorities and determined it would be worth it.  Now instead of begrudging the driving time to get to the treatment and back, I revel in the benefits I am receiving and practice shifting my body and mind whenever I feel tension creeping in.

So, I invite you to consider making a commitment to a relationship with time that works for you.  Who knows, it just may be The Einstein Time approach!

(For my initial post on time, see the March 15th post.  You can also find out more on the stress-relief treatment I mentioned above from my February 24th post.)

Being under the weather for the second week, I carved out only a few “in person” activities that I chose to participate in last week so that I could conserve my energy.  Attending a planning meeting for Earth Day was one of them.  Being there paid off on two levels, I was supporting a passion, and I was nurtured by loving friends and colleagues.

When you are not feeling very well have you ever noticed that engaging in something you are passionate about can almost immediately reduce your symptoms?  That certainly was true that night for me as we enthusiastically reviewed what we wanted as our theme, decided our roles and generally rejoiced in having our 8th Earth Day service at Seattle First Baptist Church. The congestion that I had experienced for a week, seemed much better. (I had not come with anything contagious, and I was still feeling a lot like a slug when I arrived!)

As we shared a meal and discussed the topic at hand there was a loving exchange, a celebration of being together with people I know and care about and who have similar feelings about me.  Sometimes these relationships develop quickly and easily, other times it builds over time.  This particular group is probably more of the later type.  We have seen group members move on for other more pressing interests, helped one friend through his process of dying and seen others move from robust work to even more robust retirement!

A striking thing about being ill, I discovered, is that I was more present to my own feelings at every level.  For me, it has made it easier to decide how to spend my time and energy.  You don’t need to wait for illness to:

• Take a few minutes each time you are about to make a commitment, notice whether the idea of making it gives you energy or drains you. 
•  Reflect on whether this is true just in this situation, or have you noticed this as a pattern with these people or this organization.  Either way it is valuable to notice.
• Use this type of information to make better and better decisions for your well-being.

One of the most valuable skills I have acquired as a coach is consciously listening with my heart.  What difference does it make?  First, I get out of my head and then I have access to the wisdom of my heart and body and to the heart of the person I am listening to.

Getting out of my head on some days seems like no small feat!  My head is solution oriented and is likely to take the logical route and quickly offer one of my answers from my frame of reference and stored experience.  When I am listening to someone else, unless they have specifically asked for my ideas, I seek to help them find their solutions.  That requires tapping into their experience or more profoundly into their heart, what they are longing for at a deeper level?  Finding out that information can bring insight and energy for a solution that the head could not deliver. 

This happened recently with a client who when she initially came to work with me was confused and didn’t even think she had any wisdom to apply to the challenges in her life.  She just knew she urgently wanted change.  Over the months she learned to trust in herself and marvel at the information her intuition provided.

To add perspective, here are the thoughts of a man who has made a career of studying the heart, Doc Childre, founder of the HeartMath Institute. 

“Since emotional processes can work faster than the mind, it takes a power stronger than the mind to bend perception, override emotional circuitry, and provide us with intuitive feeling instead. It takes the power of the heart.” 
 “Our well being is dependent upon an intricate, dynamic system of the heart, brain, nervous, hormonal and immune systems, of which the heart is the most powerful generator of rhythmic information and patterns.”
 
Consider listening more deeply this week by “dropping down into your heart. ” Doing so can not only help you hear more effectively, it also can help you integrate the multiple changes that are taking place in your life, reduce stress and help you access greater fulfillment.

For an overview of the HearthMath Solution and its application, here is an excellent article.  For learning some specific processes and multiple other resources checkout the HearthMath website.