How many times a day do you extend your hand to greet someone? What if each time you extended your hand you were also reminding yourself of your Dependable Strengths.

Strengths Shared

Strengths that if you choose, you could put to work for a new friend, an employer, your family?  For years as a coach I have looked for and helped others find their strengths, but not until this weekend did I see the full power of that information.

Most of the time, we look for our strengths when we are eager to get clear on, “What can I count on myself for?” “What can an employer count on me for?” Five of us came together to do the Bernard Haldane, Dependable Strengths course this last weekend. I came because I wanted to know how to more confidently market myself and describe what I am good at. Others came because they wanted to get a new job in a new field or to be able to compete more efffectively in a tough job market. Several of us walked away with increased self-confidence and clarity on what we’re good at “in our bones.”

Bernard Haldane founded the Dependable Strengths program shortly after the end of World War II when thousands were returning home and needed jobs. What Haldane discovered was a series of steps that when taken would put participants back in touch with skills that might have gotten covered over with job titles or being pigeon holed into job that one is good at but really doesn’t like. Job titles and experiences are something external. Dependable Strengths, by contrast, are internal they are an inseparable part of you like the fingers of your hand. They all have these uniting characteristics:

• It’s inner motivated
• In the past you used it often
• You have to have it in your ideal future
• You enjoy it
• It shows up in your top Good Experiences

 The older we get, the more jobs we’ve had, doesn’t mean we get clearer about our Dependable Strengths. Some of the things we are really good at may not be a dependable strength because they don’t meet that above criteria.

So, if you are curious and/or unsure about your Dependable Strengths, here are two colleagues who currently are trained to offer these workshops: Irene Myers and Fran Fisher.

In the meantime, you can begin to journal about times when you have had a good experience regardless of the time in your life or whether you were formally on a job or not. Use the above criteria, and notice how enjoyable recalling those times can be. With some effort, you can indeed discover what you can be counted on for, and more importantly what you can count on yourself for!

A glow filled the room as a procession of women dressed in shimmering orange, pink and white garments entered. The first carried a glittering miniature tree; others followed with pink laterns. These women were part of the opening ceremony of the 20^th Annual Women of Wisdom Conference. As the procession entered the room the large group that surrounded them chanted “It is our time to be heard.”

Jean Shinoda Bolen well-known and respected author, Jungian Analyst and activist is one of the keynoters of the conference.  Jean consistently writes and speaks boldly on what gives us life and meaning.

Do what you love

“Activism and individuation

(to find a meaningful, inner directed, chosen life-path) come together when the choices we make express who we are. There is a soul purpose to life. Be centered, and archetypes, dreams and synchronicities provide depth and direction. As one phase of life shifts into the next, energy becomes free to take on something that is personally meaningful, fun, creative and motivated by love—my definition of “assignment.”

From Jean’s experience and that of her clients she reflects that it takes courage and boldness to step out of our productivity driven culture to give oneself permission to follow one’s heart.

Synchronicity showed up as I found myself challenged to be bold by a fellow member of our church’s Social Justice Group. She had spoken several times in our group about the Seattle Police using excessive force particularly with minorities. She felt strongly that our group should be speaking out publically about it.  We encouraged her to take the lead in developing a letter. She decided to do it, and two weeks later she brought the letter to our group.

As she read the letter I was a little concerned about its tone and what impact it might have on its readers. I volunteered to help with editing if I could have some support of other colleagues more abreast of the issues. As we worked on the letter I began to think, “Have I gone over my head on this one??” I wavered with one of my predictable self-doubting voices. Then, as I remembered the women chanting, “This is our time to be heard.” I resolved to see that the letter was refined in a way that demonstrates how we would like to be treated by our police force.

Boldness won over timidity, and I am feeling an inner glow that I haven’t experienced for a while.

Who is your heart calling you to be? Or do?

What small, bold step can you take in that direction?

The hospital room was stiflingly silent. My brother, Gaylord, had just been taken away to the operating room. Less than 24 hours before he had a heart attack and now the physicians felt the best option was surgery, a three-way bypass. Gaylord, his wife and sons, our parents, and I all wondered what this means.  Will he make it through this and what will the quality of his life be if he does?

Fortunately the operation went well, and Gaylord began to make life style changes. In addition to reducing fat, salt and sugar, he got a dog, a standard poodle named Genieve, who was a great incentive to get outside for long walks.

These changes helped, but it took eleven years before he was ready to let go of the primary stressor in his life.  He decided to retire.  He was willing to begin defining himself in new ways.

His first month after his decision was filled with delight at the thought of sleeping in, calling the shots on what he wanted to be working on versus multi-million dollar projects for others, taking trips with his wife to be with friends, and perhaps going to Europe. He even imagined he might get back to an old passion painting.

As Gaylord’s retirement date loomed, he began to have doubts. Maybe he wasn’t ready yet.  Then the man who was to succeed him died in a car accident forcing Gay to postpone his retirement by a month until a replacement could be found. But this strengthened his resolve.  He’d had his wake-up call, life’s too short.

Even though it was a month later than planned, Gaylord embarked on his new life the way he’d tackled client projects for so many years.  He signed up for a painting class, took his wife Dixie to several art shows, and he carved out hours each week when he would paint.  Most importantly he kept his commitment to himself as seriously as he would a commitment to a client.

Two months later Gaylord was a different man.  There was no trace of regret; he had an entirely new attitude about this time in his life.  He calls it “wonderment!”  He gets up early each morning filled with wonder about what he will discover.  With his camera he catches the sun rising over the Wasatch Mountains the pinks and light glow illuminating the dark folds of the mountains.  He finds a scarlet Amaryllis breaking into bloom on the kitchen table, and captures its translucent beauty. He begins taking pictures of those around him.  All these photos are displayed on his work board the next day, and within a day or two one is becoming a watercolor.  Gaylord has indeed re-engaged in his passions and his life is on a whole new trajectory. Friends have remarked that he looks healthy and happy.

Gaylord has gone from a man boxed in by his job-title and the familiar comfort it provided, to a place where he is free to choose again what he wants his life to look like.  We can’t wait for first show.

What embers of a by-gone passion are waiting for you to stoke back into a fire?

What must you let go of to make room for this passion (allow it to breathe)?

Workshop Coming Up on March 11

Turning Points at Midlife and Beyond

Women Connecting

Midlife presents us with new options.  Whether we greet them with fear and trepidation or an expectation of a new adventure will impact the quality of what unfolds for us.  Listening to the Divine Discontent that has been beneath the surface for years can provide insight and energy for embarking on this important life passage with conscious choice.

Join other women, committed to enjoying the fruits of their fifties and sixties and making choices that take us outside the boxes that we and others have created for ourselves. This experiential workshop will leave you with fresh approaches for creating your future.

Workshop Leader:  Sandra Jones, guide Navigating Act III for Soul Satisfaction

To sign up, go to:  http://web.mac.com/womanspiritcenter/WomanSpirit_Center/Turning_Points.html

Have questions? Call Sandra at 425-646-8170.

Over the last weekend I attended a Women’s Retreat where the theme was “Passion:  I will not die an unlived  life!”  We were challenged to risk and reveal ourselves, to be authentic.  Living from our most authentic self opens the doorway to living more fully.  Three gems I gained over the weekend are:

First, revealing oneself has rewards.  As I stepped up to the challenge of revealing myself, I found that in talking about hard things, things I regret  for example, I became softer, more compassionate with myself and others.  I also was freed up to begin anew, choose how I would like to be different going forward.  A refreshed sense of strength and vitality came with that.

Secondly, how do we deal with life’s disasters?  I have just chosen to use the most DRAMATIC word for effect! (>:)  The truth is, we all have hard times, heavy losses, and set- backs that are significant to us.  Reinhold Niebuhr,an American theologian, suggests that there are stages in dealing with our “disasters” that allow us to claim value from them.  The three stages are: (1) shipwrecked  (2) gladness,  and (3) amazement.  A colleague and I decided that we would modify this to read: shipwrecked, relief and amazement since gladness seemed to sweeten things before we were ready.  For example, my most recent experience of burn-out did not provide gladness for me, however, it did provide a sense of relief when I finally owned up to the fact that I had fully participated in creating the burn-out.  Thus, I could also climb out of the hole that I created.  Amazement has arrived as I have experienced a new sense of joy and resilience out of living through that burn-out and learning from it.

Third, Ram Dass was quoted as saying “You have to take the curriculum as it comes to you.”  This message definitely struck home.  I can be so enamored with the way I’d like life to be, that I sometimes resist embracing it as it is.   What if we embrace life as it is and look for the treasures that are here in front of us?  Another option offered by Ram Dass is: “Everything in your life is there as a vehicle for your transformation. Use it!”

I invite you to use these tools as stepping stones to living abundantly.

The Diva of Delight has been peaking around the corner for the last several months, now she has arrived.  Check her out on my new website http://yoursoulsatisfaction.com.

Women fifty and over, join me, create and celebrate your best life now.  Mine the riches of being seasoned, sultry and having so much fun! Discover how Divas Diving In, sharing their passions, can turn the lights on for all of us.

Have you seen Julie & Julia?  If you haven’t get yourself to a theater! The sheer delight that is created in this film as Julia Child discovers and follows her passion for French cooking is richly entertaining.  Meanwhile, her passion for exploration is mirrored by a protégé’s experience 40 years later as Julie in 365 days tries all 524 recipes in Julia ‘s book, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.”  The film’s characters reflect off of each other in the ongoing playful banter between mates. Their banter seems to reflect unequivocally the fact that they are crazy about each other through multiple challenges.*

As you can imagine I was hot on this movie from the start as I saw Julia’s passion grow from an appetite for gourmet food and natural curiosity about French cooking to full blown mastery and a desire to share it.  Her quest for mastery and writing about French cooking grew even when thwarted by several obstacles.   Find out all of the juicy details when you attend the movie.

Julia was 49 when she and her co-authors published “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” in 1961.By 1963 she had her own television program in the United States, and it ran nationally for 10 years.  During her 60's and 70's she continued to expand her cooking, teaching and entertaining abilities and shared them with millions.  In 1989, at 77 she created what she consider her magnum opus a book and instructional video series collectively entitled The Way To Cook.

Julia’s passion not only for French Cooking but for life kept her growing and glowing well into her elder years.  She is an amazing model of following one’s passion with dedication and verve.  I am not sure that I am inclined to dig into” Mastering the Art of French Cooking,” however, I am truly inspired by this woman’s commitment to her passion(s).

*Turns out, Julie has an affair after writing her second book.  … After some re-entering this blog post several times to get the formatting "right." I am allowing a little Halloween humor to creep in early and getting on to other things!

Eighteen months ago I met a woman over 45 who was thriving as she taught English as a second language in China. Catherine beamed as she shared some of her experiences and how she had documented them in one of her three blogs. Meeting her lit a fire in me, "I want to be encouraging women over forty five to follow their passion(s) as Catherine has!".  Lo, 18 months later I have a client that is doing just that.  She just happens to be leaving for China in a few days as part of pursuing her passion.

This client came to me when she realized her vision for her future is huge and she wants support in staying true to it.  One of her fist major discoveries was that what she previously thought were distractions in her life can actually be part of her plan.

Suzanna wants to teach children important, nurturing life skills through art and story.  She not only wants to teach locally but in other cultures.  However, she felt stuck because a trip to Laos this spring had not resulted in in the generous sharing of stories and images as she had imagined.  So, as she planned for her trip to China, she decided it was important to get a coach to support her in realizing the fruits of that trip and staying on purpose with her larger vision.

So, Suzanna has fresh focus for the trip ahead as well as clarity on what will happen when she returns.  Stay tuned, with her permission I will share a picture or two and link you to her blog.

How about you?

Are your passions clear?

How are you folllowing them?