At the end of May I felt a lot like a slug.  It was a familiar feeling, like slowly sinking over the edge into burn-out.  Tasks loomed large and no amount of pushing seemed to get them done.   I surveyed the situation and one major energy drain stood out.  I had been putting time, energy and money into a second business venture that wasn’t panning out.

As I looked over the edge; the choices appeared to be burn-out or letting go.   The choice of letting go was complicated by the fact that I really like and respect the team I worked with.  However, once I had all of the parting conversations, there was a significant sense of relief and liberation.  I let go of the heavy stress I had been carrying.  Congratulations were in order.

My next commitment was to rest, to step away and give myself a much needed vacation.  Stepping away is a bit scary when YOU are the business.  (Will I really ever want to come back???)  Well, I am delighted to tell you that I did step away for ten days and spent a good part of that time with family in the sunshine!  Now, that I am refreshed,  I am choosing daily to embrace lightness, contentment and levity.

When I stepped back into the flow of my life and my business, I had a conversation with a colleague who is a fellow coach, Anita Schamber.  She does a lot of work with faith-based communities and suggested that what she found works is “Let God.  Let go.  Let’s Go.”  Ho! I could just feel the relief as I thought of how that could indeed be a new mantra for me.  Interestingly since returning from my vacation I have felt a real draw to let go of lots of clutter, physical and mental.  This new three-part mantra seems to fit perfectly.

Now, I sense I am on a different edge, one that feels much more like a launch pad, and a poem that portrays this beautifully is by Cindy McMeekin  from her book “Awakening the Soul.”*

Stand with me on the edge
Where we can express our passions fully
Speak our truths loudly
Live our dreams boldly
Laugh from the bottom of our belly
And dance with the freedom of a child.

*Get a copy of “Awakening the Soul”
Soul Awakening Publishing
P.O. Box 217
Southworth, WA  98386

As Americans our ancestors declared independence from taxation without representation in 1776.  To take this important national holiday to a personal level, what have you declared independence from over the last few months or days?

Being with family over the Fourth gave me a great opportunity to learn from others who had successfully declared independence.  A powerful example is a cousin who decided that she was not going to succumb to dying in her early 50s as had her grandmother and aunt.  What’s more when she got breast cancer two years ago, she declared she would do her best to deal with it successfully as her mother has.  Her mother has been in remission for 30 years.

As I reflected on my own situation, my declarations are unique to my own challenges:

• I declare independence from people and situations that drain me.
• I declare independence from doing things in ways that overly deplete me.  (We all experience fatigue from a day’s work, and when the fatigue doesn’t leave after a good night’s sleep or a vacation, it’s a good idea to find out why.)
• I declare independence from unconsciousness about eating and my body.
•  I declare independence from holding on when it’s time to let go!

What are your personal declarations of independence this year?

For years I’ve know I had a penchant for drama, but I thought I had reduced the Queen’s role to a bit part.  As Memorial Day weekend approached I had a newsletter deadline looming.  The topic was burn-out and after two versions, I had no satisfaction.  I turned to a trusted advisor and she nailed it, you’re in burn-out!  Moi, ME, I am in BURN OUT, you’ve got to be kidding!  The Drama Queen began to rant and rave.  Then came a sigh of recognition. 

Yes, I had known what would make me a super visible, hip marketer in today’s social media world, but had no energy to make it happen.  So, the Drama Queen had managed to cover up reality with her moans and groans rather than accept it.  Now what?!  I took the long weekend off with a gentle commitment to find pleasure in small things.  Over the weekend, a dear friend demonstrated how she is easily moving into the bliss of retirement.  Now, that was appealing!  I’d like two scoops of that please! 

With these new revelations I gently started out the week and Providence provided.  Loretta LaRoche’s  book Relax, you may only have a few minutes left jumped off the shelf at me.  From my reading I realized my perfectionist had conspired with the Drama Queen to have me running in place for some time.  Loretta shared that one of one of her meltdowns occurred as she and her husband started out on a vacation.  The trigger was unexpected $3 toll fee.  All of a sudden, my own melodrama became clear.  I also found I am not alone since, according to Loretta, many Americans are caught up in fast- paced dramas of their own making.  The result, massive stress!  (Loretta teaches people how to use humor to reduce stress.)

As the Drama Queen in me has struggled over “what’s next, how am I going to make all these shifts happen?!!”  The Diva of Delight showed up calm, serene, and confident that we can create a future that “we” will all relish.

What about you?

Where is your Drama Queen showing up?

Where do you feel “burned-out” or getting pretty darn crisp?

You’ve been gliding along, making great progress on your projects and intentions.  Then you notice you are much less interested in everything that only a week ago seemed very appealing and you have a lot less energy.  If you have gone through a major burn-out, you may be particularly concerned.  Lack of interest and energy are two key signs of burn-out.  However, let’s not leap to conclusions.  Let’s take a look at the facts.

www.freefoto.com

What has been your pace over the last couple of weeks?  The Diva of Delight* has been in charge for much of my last week, and she had me writing blogs, newsletters, speeches, etc.  She also chose to show up engaged in her volunteer and personal life so it was a” full-tilt-boogey” week.  Then she wonders why on Monday she had energy to celebrate but not for much else.  The good news is that the Diva and I did celebrate!

Celebrate. Without the pause to celebrate, it can be easy to feel like you are in a gerbal’s cage, moving quickly but getting nowhere.  Celebrate who you were being that helped you accomplish what you did. Notice if that is who you want to be going forward.  Celebrate, too, what you accomplished.  What made those accomplishments particularly satisfying?  With that sweet savoring, you can now pause and decide…

What next?  That’s the good news, you do have a lot of control over who you are being as you move forward. Yes, there may still be plenty on your plate, but look at the bigger picture.  Who do you want to be, doing what you do?  If you start from a place of resignation, everything will be much harder.  If you start from a place of curiosity, “Who can I be…more easy going, gentler? What can I do to provide some extra ‘comforts’ for myself this week as I strategically accomplish key activities?”, you are much more likely to get back to a pace you can more easily sustain.

Put “comforts” in place for this week and the future.  The Diva of Delight wants her comforts now, so I mixing up my schedule this week and allowing for some more relaxed days as well as full ones.  This morning, I took a more leisurely start on the day rather than popping out of bed with a checklist in mind.  That approach actually led to more creativity.  This week I am leaving a couple of nights open, to simply be.  I have a hot stone massage I can take advantage of this week or next. Also, I will set up a weekend soon to go visit a friend.  Ahhh, I feel better already knowing that I have plans!

What’s up for you?

- If renewal is in order for you, how will you do it?
- Who do you want to include in your plans to make them most refreshing and enjoyable?

*The Diva of Delight is that part of my way of being that is filled with wonder, optimism and a sense of adventure.

When things seem to be going upside down, take a little space.  Yesterday I noticed that my digestive system was kicking up a fuss and I felt like I was growing to a new pant size.  Not much fun!  This is one of my body’s amazing ways of getting my attention.  I had had a very tightly scheduled couple of weeks with another on its way.  So, what to do?  No accident within hours I was reminded twice of the importance of making space in my life so that the quality of it can soar. 
 
One of the reminders came from Madeline Gerwick, business consultant, and astrologer of Polaris Business Guides.  From April 18 to May 11, according to Madeline, we can expect to have things go amiss from technology to communication.  Thus,it is a great time to give yourself about 50% more time on projects, getting places, and in making plans both personally and professionally.  This extra time can allow you to think through communication and plans and make any needed revisions.  Given that I had created some less than stellar communication the day before, Madeline got my attention.

The other source of inspiration was internationally known speaker, breakthrough specialist, and bestselling author, Joe Nunziata. 

 “The universe requires space to connect and bring you the things in life that will help you move to a higher level.  In many cases you must keep this space clear for some time before receiving delivery.  You will have to create more quiet time on a regular basis to accelerate this process.”

Ho, given my epicurean bent for adding more delicious options to my life, this definitely gave me pause and perhaps you.

• What are you up to creating?
• What impact could giving yourself more space and time have on the quality of your life right now?

Take a moment to close your eyes and scan your body.  What is your body telling you?  Give it that gift of attention and then allow its wisdom to inform you.  As I take a few minutes to provide this space for my body, it soaks the attention up like a sponge and helps me shift into a gentler way of being going forward.

What if life could truly be easy?  That lightens me up just thinking about it!  As I read Jennifer Jeffries’s book  “7 Steps to Sanity,” she suggests that we “chill out” as a major way to create ease in our lives.  Her major option for “chilling out” was surprising and refreshing.

Jennifer is a woman who has been through corporate “burn-out,” and that experience really rearranged her priorities.  Today she speaks frequently with corporate groups.  When she encourages CEOs and their employees to “chill out,” she finds out what they currently do to experience more ease in their lives.  She found that they frequently add recreation homes, toys, cars, and gadgets.  The result for those people often is not more ease but more stress.  The stress came from adding expenses which meant more work to pay for them.
 
Her recommendation for ease is to soak up the beauty in the life you currently have, verses adding one more thing that adds financial stress.  Evidently, the Aussies, like many Americans, have a penchant for complicating life by purchasing more rather than by simplifying our needs.

I remember as a child traveling to my grandparent’s cabin at Deep Creek just outside of Livingston, Montana,.  The vacations spent there brought lots of joy.  As the family dispersed after my grandparent’s death it seemed that keeping up the cabin became more of a chore than a joy to those living near-by.  Thus, what once brought us pleasure, may not currently bring us as much ease as it brings expense.  So, how do we adapt to what is true in our lives today?

What will you do to add ease to your life?

How does your spending support ease in your life?

What is your relationship with time?  I must confess I’ve often had a challenging relationship with time.  Being women 50 and over wisdom suggests NOW is a great time to re-evaluate our personal “mental model” of time so that we can choose one that works for us and our well-being.

The times in my life when I thought I  had plenty of time, seem rare on reflection – I like to do lots of things!  And, the times when I have been happiest, time hasn’t been as much of an issue.  How could that be?  Have you noticed when you are doing something you love, hours seem to be irrelevant, you are absorbed in the moment enjoying it all.  What’s one of those times for you?

For me several times that stand out as times when I was in alignment with time were when I shared something I love with someone I love!  For example, I go two or three times a year to visit a friend in Bellingham.  We CHOOSE a very open schedule, both suggest things we would enjoy doing and then we go from there.  The hours melt away but there is such a sense of richness that there is no angst about time.

By contrast when I get overly focused in my driver mode there always seems to be a time crunch. If this sounds familiar, you can appreciate that everything seems to have a deadline, and it was yesterday.  This can create a pressure cooker effect that impacts our blood pressure and our whole cardiovascular system.

The alternative approach to time is to use Einstein Time.  No surprise, it provides a different model of time, and you are in charge!  Well, whether that sounds daunting or encouraging, check in next week to see what it’s all about!  And, if you just can’t wait, read Chapter 6 of The BIG LEAP by Gay Hendricks which I first introduced you to in January.

Have you noticed the early arrival of beautiful blossoms on the plum trees and warmer temperatures brightening your mood?  They certainly do mine!  However, if we are primarily focused on problems such as work challenges or health issues we may hardly notice the changes.  How is it that our focus so often determines our reality and our mood?!!!

Intention plays an important role here, too!  If you are intending to LEAP forward this year or win a gold medal your intention is clear and your focus is to realize your intention. Then life happens and there may be “noise on your radio reception” when it comes to your intention.  When you are aware of the noise which often starts in our own heads, we can turn up the focus button and dial down the noise button.  (The noise is often worry!)

Early on when I worked with the “noise” I thought it was a given and that I really didn’t have choice about it. Now I know the buttons are there to be dialed or the issue is to be dealt with!

Recently, I became aware that when I over focus I can drop out truly being present to my own body and its needs.  I became aware of this through the NSA, Network Spinal Analysis, work I am having done.  The work’s end goal is to increase well-being by reducing tension in the body and allow the body to provide you with important information.  The first thing that happened was I became very aware of the “noise” I created frequently in my head because of my judgments about myself. That translated into tension.  Tada!

Now as the weeks have passed since I have been using NSA I feel more sensation in different parts of my body (my shoulders – pretty tight sometimes, my chest and now my extremities).  I can now see more clearly how the mind-body connection either supports my well – being or not.  The tight focus on the goal at hand is now expanded.  I can also notice on how my current focus is supporting my body or not.  Exciting and enlivening!

How is your focus supporting you?  Your body?

If you have noise, what are you doing to dial it down or deal with it?

Have you ever noticed that when you ask for something it often shows up, except not in the package you expected?!!  Last week my post was about calming, and I provided a basic introduction to breathing for stress reduction (See below).  Guess what, the more I focused on my breathing, the more I noticed how I waited until I was definitely TIGHT and TENSE before stopping to relax and breath or break/relax and breath!  Useful information!  Lo, I had offered a great suggestion on relaxation only to be shown that I was not getting the full advantage of it myself!

Learning new habits is like that.  Before we can begin to gain competence, we get to wake up to how unconsciouslyincompetent we have been!  A colleague who has obviously taken breathing consciously to a whole new level shared her practice; “Breathe in I count to 7, breathe out I count to 7.7.”  Repeat for 15 minutes.  I have found in using this practice there is still some built in resistance from the “pusher” part of me.  She wants productivity “thank you very much!”  So, I thank her for the “reminder,” and invite her to go to the imaginary workout room I have designed for her.

Yoga Helps with Breathing

For me, and perhaps you, too, this is all related to my relationship with time.

I get into trouble with runaway tension when I have created a deadline and am fearful I won’t make it.  I have set myself up for this tense-fest!  So, with this awareness, I can create a new game.  When I give myself a deadline or have one given to me, I decide what I want to do with it in terms of attitude, approach and timing.  That is called conscious choice!

In the past when I have not noticed this pattern of growing tension and pressure is when I have gone beyond the point where I could easily reduce the tension. So, gratefully, my body is much less tolerant of overdoing it now!

An element that bears reflecting on here is space.  When I slow down to review my options I feel the grace and spaciousness of it.  I can actually access a generous and wise aspect of my nature.  I make better decisions, and Providence often contributes something that I would not previously have access to.

Questions for reflection:

• How can I be proactive about managing tension?
• What practice/habit will support me to shift from reacting to tension to being proactive about managing tension?

Turn on the radio in the morning and I’m inclined to turn it right back off. The amount of change, conflict and chaos in our world seem greater than ever before. One way to address the impact of these circumstances on our lives is to decide that as an individual you want to have easy access to CALM. In our CORE program which helps bring you greater joy, vitality and passion, C stands for CALM.  How do we get there with the media barrage of the world’s problems and the challenges of everyday life?

One solution is to start with the BREATH. We are utterly dependent on our breath for everyday life and, fortunately, it is an automatic function of the body.  What healers and those seeking greater spiritual awareness have found is that conscious breathing can bring you a level of calm.

Take a calming moment

As you take slow, conscious breaths that send air down into the body so that it feels like it is filling the diaphragm as well as the lungs, you are:
= Focusing your awareness and
= Adding oxygen to your entire body so that it works even more effectively

Amazingly as you focus on the breath, it gently begins to calm you.  The conscious breathing positively impacts the mind, body and emotions.

As a teen I was taught another technique for bringing calmness. As I close my eyes and breathe deeply, I also learned to visualize spelling out the word “quiet” on the fingers of one of my hands. That visualization process can further anchor the calm in one’s body.

When you think of calm seas, one can imagine smoother sailing. Likewise, calm within the mind, body and emotions promote smoother sailing and clearer thinking  and you share that energy with everyone around you.

And, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day:
“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”    Anonymous