May Love Abound

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. – Hamilton Wright Mabie

May peace and appreciation find its way into our hearts, and may we experience the JOY of spontaneously showing love and affection for one another during this season.

I am headed to snow country, Salt Lake City, Utah, to visit my brother and his family.  My brother forwarned me to “rest-up” since we will be keeping up a jaunty pace being with his two sons and the two lively grandsons ages 6 and 8.  Four dogs will also be added into the mix!

Whenever I am with my brother and, Dixie, his wife, in their home over the holidays, I am reminded of what love looks like!  Friends and family coming and going, laughter, hugs, sharing of the latest news from throughout their family and clan.  Gifts of food disappear quickly and packages of thoughtful gifts and food flow out the door as quickly as they flow in.

We will no doubt get out to romp in the snow a bit, yes, even me!

So, may each of you thoroughly enjoy your friends and family over the holidays, and may we even extend our sense of family as we realize how blessed we are.

REST

You’ve got to be kidding! This time of year!!? We’ll, if we don’t take moments, minutes and, yes, even half hours out to rest as we glide through the holidays we may find ourselves with a forced HALT! During that very cold spell in the Pacific Northwest in early December I got a cold that laid me low. I snuggled under covers and got up only to drink as many hot fluids as I could or to eliminate them! The “flush” plus lots and lots of sleep and a few home remedies worked.

So, what are options for REST going forward? Well, a great place to start is to look at our schedules and get real with ourselves. As I looked at my schedule this week, I paused to check-in with myself and assess my energy levels about going to each event. For the first three of the week, there was a definite “no.” Now getting those clear answers may be a lot easier in my case because I had just had a very real reminder of the consequences of not listening to my body. So, listen not just for the “yes” or “no” which may not be so clear, but tune into the level of fatigue in your body. What is it saying to you?

Another option is to take advantage of the longer nights by going home and staying there to REST, reconnect with yourself and your wonderful intuition. As a result you may find yourself saving steps, even money by doing so! Holiday errands may become simplified. That was one of my discoveries as I “Embraced the Dark” this week.

Another benefit of taking time to rest for me was discovering my body was craving warm foods. So, I cooked up an easy Creamy Squash Soup seasoned with curry and turmeric that left me warm from the inside out! Try this easy recipe and enjoy its mood altering properties as well as its nourishment.

Creamy Squash Soup

1 medium-sized winter squash, peeled and cut into ½ inch cubes (about 3 cups)*

1 onion chopped

2 T olive oil

3 cloves garlic minced

1 T fresh ginger

diced 1 t turmeric

1 t curry powder

2 ¾ C chicken or vegetable broth

6 oz canned coconut milk

2 T fresh cilantro, chopped

Salt & pepper to taste

Sauté onion in olive oil in large saucepan until onion is soft. Add garlic and ginger and cook one minute more. Stir in spices. Add squash and broth. Stir. Bring to boil, then reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, about 10 minutes or until squash is tender.

Transfer soup in batches to blender. Add coconut milk. Process until smooth. Return to pan and reheat. Season with salt and pepper. Serve topped with cilantro.

*You can also bake a winter squash in a 375 degree preheated oven. Cut it in half, remove the seeds, and put the two halves in a covered baking pan cut side up. Put 1/4 inch water in the bottom of the pan before covering. Cook squash until tender to a fork piercing 30 – 45 minutes. If you don’t have a covered backing pan, use aluminum foil to cover it. Actually, cooking it just a bit longer may have the skin of the squash virtually fall off.

** Bonus health benefits come from ginger, garlic, turmeric and curry powder.

Space for Grace

Sunday was set aside as an easy going day. Although I planned several things, the day felt flexible.  However, when I walked out to my car after church I saw I had a flat tire.  Plans were immediately revised.  The fact that I had planned a “flexible day,” left me in a most agreeable state of mind.  From that flexible state of mind a flat tire did not seem like a big deal.

A friend volunteered to help and we recruited another friend in the parking lot when I discovered to my dismay that I had not gotten the last flat repaired!  (Hard to believe! Thankfully they could all relate.)  What followed were a series of steps to find workable solutions for myself and the people assisting me.  My friends, women over 50, and those who assisted us all were gracious, and we found just the resources I needed.  On top of that, they got to complete their desired tasks and I got to do the errand I was hoping to fit in!

What I learned from that experience was:
= Maintain my AAA roadside coverage, I used it!
= Notice what grace seemed to show up with my flexible state of mind.
= Be generous to and grateful for friends, caring for them can create reciprocal good will.

After that experience, I am committed to calling on a flexible state of mind more often!

Divas Dive In Teleclass December 9

Our monthly Divas Dive in teleclass is underway.  Join us on the second Wednesday evening of the month from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m. Pacific time.  The next one is Wednesday, December 9.

The topic is “Embracing the Darkness.” Join other Divas to explore the paradoxes and benefits of “embracing the darkness.”  Click here for more information and to register for this FREE teleclass which you can join in on from the comfort of your home or office phone.

Questions?  email me at sandra@yoursoulsatisfaction.com.

Looking forward to being with you!

Sandra J.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sandra J.

The Diva of Delight

                     

Try a Touch of Compassion

As we discussed holiday traditions and the joy and challenges that can be associated with them in the last Divas Dive In teleclass, I was reminded of the importance of compassion.  When things don’t go as planned, when you find yourself out of sorts, when people don’t follow through, try a touch of compassion for yourself and for the other person.  The practice is one I have learned from Pema Chodron, a Buddhist author of The Places that Scare You, A Guide to Fearless Living in Difficult Times.

Pema suggests that compassion is a tool for maintaining our flexibility and open heartedness.  She calls this particular practice one of sharing the heart.  Whenever we find ourselves encountering pain from any source, ourselves or another, we breathe into our heart.  “It’s a way of acknowledging when we are closing down and of training to open up.”  As we breathe into our heart, we acknowledge our pain and then we think of others experiencing similar pain.  Following this practice has an amazing effect of softening our response, expanding our options.

Recently when I was stuck in an familiar problem about my checkbook not balancing, I turned to this practice.  By staying with my feelings, breathing into my heart and sending empathy out to others that have had this experience, I relaxed and became clearer and clam!

Likewise when something delights us, like a sunrise, we can acknowledge the joy it brings, and breathe into our heart that joy or pleasure.  Then we make a wish that others may experience such joy or pleasure.  Using this practice I find adds to the fullness of my experience.

So, when things seem to be heading south or brightening up, take a moment to acknowledge the experience.  While breathing into your heart have compassion for yourself and others or rejoice and wish that others experience this pleasure, also.

Do share how this or similar practices work for you.

Gratitude Makes a Difference

Where we focus determines our results.  Thus, as we discussed which rituals to toss or treasure on the Diva’s Dive In teleclass last week, the power of gratitude became clear.  When we focus on gratitude, things shift.  For example, when there are differences such as religious backgrounds, honoring both or several during the holidays can be a challenge.  The extra heartfelt effort we as women over fifty put into including the diverse traditions in our families and with friends can provide education, appreciation and gratitude for our roots.
 
In today’s world we are being stretched to see things from multiple perspectives.  Being grateful for our own traditions and open to learning and celebrating others, can expand circles of understanding within families, friends and communities.

What helps build bridges of understanding about different traditions?
= Curiosity. 
“What makes this tradition so dear to my loved one or a friend?”  Standing in their shoes to look at something can create greater appreciation and compassion.
= Respect.  Even though we may not value a tradition the way a member of our family or a friend does, we can respect their choices and perspective.
=Taking ourselves more lightly.  One of the participants in the call declared, “Life has gotten a lot easier as I have learned over the years to take myself more lightly.”

To deepen your appreciation of gratitude and the impact it can have, I share this piece from author Melodie Beattie:


Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
Chaos into order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn
A meal into a feast, a house into a home,
A stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
And creates a vision for tomorrow.

Fresh Infusion

Women find countless ways to catch-up, connect and infuse their lives with fun.  Last weekend I both attended and hosted a jewelry party!  Doing so much “jewelry” in one weekend was a fluke and definitely something new for me.  Predictably, the events were about much more than jewelry.  For me they provided opportunities to refresh valued friendships and to get to know a neighbor and her friends better – a fresh infusion of fun and connection.

Several of the women that I met for the first time were in their mid-thirties, young moms and professionals.  Their warmth and openness made me feel right at home.  We laughed a lot! One of the first topics of conversation with that group was Facebook.  At my party where most of us were 50 and over, Linked In surfaced as a valuable way to be professionally connected and form relationships for doing business.  All this happened while trying on beautiful jewelry!*

As I got on-line the next day I received an invite to connect on Linked In from Masah Kalugin, that multi-talented, young neighbor.  She is a recruiter for FILTER with an emphasis on gaming.  Send a job seeker her way and check her out on Linked In.

Following her lead to Linked In I made another 15 connections and received an acknowledgement.  So, if you are looking for a fresh infusion of friendship, connection, and energy, try something new!

*If you are interested in having fun with your own jewelry party, connect with Charmaine Stouder at her Silpada website.

Welcome to Your Soul Satisfaction

The Diva of Delight has been peaking around the corner for the last several months, now she has arrived.  Check her out on my new website http://yoursoulsatisfaction.com.

Women fifty and over, join me, create and celebrate your best life now.  Mine the riches of being seasoned, sultry and having so much fun! Discover how Divas Diving In, sharing their passions, can turn the lights on for all of us.

A Spiritual Perspective on Decision Making

You were promised another view on the process of decision-making.  This time from Deepak Chopra as recorded in “The Book of Secrets, Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life” and shared again recently in one of his mailings.  

“Don’t obsess over right and wrong decisions. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.

If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another. This isn’t a correct assumption because the universe is flexible- it adapts to every decision you make. Right and wrong are only mental constructs.

Go beyond risks. You can go beyond risks by knowing that there is infinite intelligence at work in the hidden dimension of your life. At the level of this intelligence your choices are always supported. The point of looking at risks would be to see if your course of action is reasonable. People who can assess their choices at the deeper level of awareness are aligning themselves with infinite intelligence, and thus they have a greater chance for success than does someone who crunches the numbers.

It is hard to let go when you don’t know if you have made the right choice in the first place. Doubt lingers and ties us to the past. It is important not to make critical decisions when you are in doubt.

The universe supports actions once they are begun, which is the same as saying that once you take a direction, you are setting a mechanism in motion that is very hard to reverse. When you are in doubt, however, you put the universe on hold for a while. It favors no particular direction.

Keep in mind that you are the choice-maker, which means that who you are is far more than any single choice you have ever made or ever will make.

Deepak and Susan Jeffers appear to be significantly in alignment on this topic.  Deepak suggests that it is not wise to make a critical decision when you are in doubt.  They may be part of why people who have recently experienced a significant loss are encouraged not to make major decisions.  Our clarity at times like that is generally impacted by our emotional state.  Also, if we are tired, that is also not a wise time to make important decisions.

After reading this passage again, I am aware that I will want to read it several times because it stretches some of my thinking.  I’ll let you know how I put these ideas into practice and I’d love to hear how you may already have or how you  intend to.

Freeing Decision Making – Part I

This past weekend I reveled in the brilliant scarlets and the bright yellows of fall as I drove up Snoqualmie Pass for a retreat near North Bend.  I experienced total peace.  A month before I struggled with the decision, “Was the retreat a worthy expense?!”  As women 50 and older we can either get bolder and more excited about decision making or more timid.  What helps us take the struggle out of the process?

This is such a worthy topic that I will provide tips from two sources, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Dynamic techniques for turning fear, indecision, and anger into power, action, and love” by Susan Jeffers, and Deepak Chopra’s “The Book of Secrets, Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life.”   Today I will feature Susan’s suggestions and on Thursday, Deepak’s.

Susan declares in her chapter on How to Make a No-Loose Decision that our lives are comprised of countless decisions, no one decision makes us who we are.  She contends that you can either use the no-win model of choice which most assume is the way it is or the win/win model.  The win/lose model says that there are definitely right and wrong choices.  By making a choice you are always putting yourself at peril, “What if you make the wrong choice???”  That model leaves you haunted before and after you make your choice with the fear of a wrong choice.

Susan’s win/win model proposes each time you come to a choice point determine what your “A” and “B” choices are.  Consider the advantages of each and know that either choice can be a “right” choice!  Coming from that place no matter which choice you make you are moving toward something that you desire and you are learning what that choice opens up for you.  What a freeing model that is, no draining second guessing, both choices can be right! 

What I found was that when I made a decision to attend the retreat and declared it right for me, all manner of resources came my way that reinforced the wisdom of that decision.

So, try it!  Consider the next time you come to a decision you are struggling with, “What if both of these options can be right for me?” Notice what energy is released as you give yourself permission to move forward boldly with your RIGHT decision.