Access Deeper Listening for Powerful Results

February 2, 2010 – 5:49 pm

One of the most valuable skills I have acquired as a coach is consciously listening with my heart.  What difference does it make?  First, I get out of my head and then I have access to the wisdom of my heart and body and to the heart of the person I am listening to.

Getting out of my head on some days seems like no small feat!  My head is solution oriented and is likely to take the logical route and quickly offer one of my answers from my frame of reference and stored experience.  When I am listening to someone else, unless they have specifically asked for my ideas, I seek to help them find their solutions.  That requires tapping into their experience or more profoundly into their heart, what they are longing for at a deeper level?  Finding out that information can bring insight and energy for a solution that the head could not deliver. 

This happened recently with a client who when she initially came to work with me was confused and didn’t even think she had any wisdom to apply to the challenges in her life.  She just knew she urgently wanted change.  Over the months she learned to trust in herself and marvel at the information her intuition provided.

To add perspective, here are the thoughts of a man who has made a career of studying the heart, Doc Childre, founder of the HeartMath Institute. 

“Since emotional processes can work faster than the mind, it takes a power stronger than the mind to bend perception, override emotional circuitry, and provide us with intuitive feeling instead. It takes the power of the heart.” 
 “Our well being is dependent upon an intricate, dynamic system of the heart, brain, nervous, hormonal and immune systems, of which the heart is the most powerful generator of rhythmic information and patterns.”
 
Consider listening more deeply this week by “dropping down into your heart. ” Doing so can not only help you hear more effectively, it also can help you integrate the multiple changes that are taking place in your life, reduce stress and help you access greater fulfillment.

For an overview of the HearthMath Solution and its application, here is an excellent article.  For learning some specific processes and multiple other resources checkout the HearthMath website.

By admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

Sweet Treat Melts Away Pounds

January 26, 2010 – 11:27 pm

Sunday I followed through on a commitment to myself to overcome my fears around ballroom dance. In two hours I went from quivering about waltzing to confident!  I left feeling lighter all around and I’m confident I burned off more than a few calories with this fun, fast-paced class.  The magicians in charge of this transformation – well, Jodi Fleischman of Left Foot Boogie, my partners and I!

Jodi knows that in a beginning waltz class she will have a number of less than confident beginners so she does everything to put you at ease.  Isn’t that a great way to begin learning anything!  She had us mimic skating, change partners quickly so nobody could begrudge a partner or their own mistakes, and periodically, literally shake out any kinks.  Jodi prior to class also asked several of  her seasoned colleagues to be there to up the level of skill in the room.

Jodi tops off these instructions with lavish praise when due and a gentle “here try this” when things definitely are not working.  She has a skillful partner Wren who is very adept at demonstrating skills and helping frustrated learners focus on what works.

Granted, follow-through with practice will be key to my on-going enjoyment.  After finishing the second half of the class this coming weekend, I will want to get myself on the dance floor at least a couple of times a month, maybe more, to get the moves in my bones.

As you tune into what changes you want in your life, consider what “sweet treat” might help bring them about?  Remember, according to Dr. Christiane Northrup, if you want to increase your vitality, ladies 50 or more, move your body consistently.  Dance just might be one of the choices that  brings you pleasure!

Seasoned Dancers, of a certain age, let’s hear from you, what has helped keep you in the swing?

If you want more suggestions for increasing your pleasure and your vitality, check out “The Secret Pleasures of Menopause” by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

By admin | Posted in Health | Comments (1)

The Power of Friendship

January 19, 2010 – 4:22 pm

Your health, happiness and longevity all are significantly impacted by your friendships!  Sure, I’ve “known” this and probably you have, too.  This knowing was powerfully confirmed last week as I heard a presentation by Shasta Nelson, the founder of girfriendcircles.com and attended a wake for a friend.

“In the quest for better health, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements.  But theyoverlook a powerful weapon that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery, slow aging andprolong life: their friends.”                           Tara Parker-Pope, “What Are Friends For?  A Longer Life,” The New York Times, April 20, 2009.

What a statement!  For me that means, friendships deserve particular attention as we arrive at 50 and go beyond. In fact, if we want to GROW as we age, Dr. Paul Dobransky says friends are essential, and they shape our destiny! So, are we giving friendships their far due?  Do we meet regularly with those who are our “In- Commitment Friends,”the closest ones we have?  What are we doing to be aware of and foster our friendships?
 
At the wake I saw and heard friends share stories about our friend Delores who had died that brought us laughter and tears.  Delores regularly fostered friendships by inviting people to join her for salons where we listened to emerging musicians.  She frequently invited friends to join her for lunch after church.  Her good humor abounded and she was known for her Irish jokes.  What are those things which you do that foster your friendships?

Shasta in her presentation deepened our understanding of friendship as she described no less than five different types and how each was important.  To begin friendships we discover or create contact with individuals with whom weshare something in common.  As we spend time with and share with these friends, the bond deepens.  Sharing plays an important role in deepening relationships.

How will you share with your friends this week?

By admin | Posted in Connection | Comments (0)

you2 can LEAP

January 12, 2010 – 5:29 pm

If you think that leaping is only for the foolhardy or the long-legged, think again! Price Pritchett lays out enticing and inspiring premise for “Quantum Leaps” in his handbook, you2.  Building on the core elements introduced in last week’s post, he shows how little good trying harder often makes in getting what you want.  Then he provides strategic and tactical steps for you to access an exponentially more effective you.

As a woman over fifty, I am looking for things that work and having fun along the way!  Dr. Pritchett has been in the business of change management for three decades so he has applied these techniques for himself and thousands of clients.  His clear thinking is demonstrated in you2 as well as 29 other books and two hardbacks.

If we want quantum change in our lives, Dr. Pritchett suggests that we will have to give up:
1) Always using a common sense approach
2) Knowing how we are going to get to our goal before hand
3) Doubting we will achieve our desired outcome

Our focus will shift to:
1) Having a clear vision of what we want
2) The search for and employment of new attitudes and behaviors
3) Pursuit…active movement towards what we want – placing our trust in action

As I read this book it becomes clear that I will have to expand my goals!  So, I am!  I can already feel the stretch.  For those of you that want to step into this new zone and new way of being and doing, let’s connect!  This definitely requires that we step beyond our current circumstances, beliefs and behaviors. 

As we know there is a power in being among like minded-people who have similar intentions – including having  FUN.  We can be DIVAs on a mission, committed to flourishing and naturally, positively impacting others in the process. (Check out the column to the right if you want an option for connecting in the near future.)                                                                

Here is the link for getting your copy of you2.  This book is one that provides powerful change stategies for individuals and organizations!

By admin | Posted in Innovations | Comments (0)

Quantum Leap 2010

January 5, 2010 – 2:32 pm

Does the thought of leaping leave you cold or excited?  If you can conjure up a bit of curiosity if not excitement, read on! Leap has become a buzz word that I keep hearing about whether from colleague Janice Williams , career and retirement coach, Price Pritchett, PhD ,organizational change consultant, in his book, You2, and in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks consultant, author and expert on relationships. 

Perhaps leap and particularly quantum leap is a fresh way to speak of transformation,doing something way beyond what you have imagined yourself doing before.  In any case, taking a quantum leap requires a mind shift. Mind shifts open up the possibility of powerful change.

So, if you were to make quantum leaps this year in every area of your life, what would you and your life look like at the end of 2010?

Some hints of what could be ahead are listed as key components of You2.

= Multiply personal effectiveness
= Quit trying harder
= Think beyond what common sense would allow
= Make your move before you’re ready
= Look inside for the opportunity

All of these intrigue me and some, frankly, create queasiness in the pit of my stomach.  That is probably a good sign.  What I know is that these books challenge me to take myself out of the patterns of the past that have not served me.  And, that is what I want and what my clients are hungry for, too!

Ok, these are two men.  Why would women 50 and beyond be interested in what men have to say about change?  First, these are two men who have spent much of their professional lives exploring relationships and change and have been very successful.  Secondly, they are over 50 and their age is an asset from my perspective.  They have been challenged to put their theories to work in their own as well as their clients’ lives.

As I explore leaping with you as a method of meaningful change, I will also look for women’s perspectives and input, including yours!

By admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

Taking Heart

December 30, 2009 – 12:47 pm

When we look back on 2009 it certainly helps to take heart.  One way to do this is to reflect on what went well for you, your family, the community, the country and, yes, if you are up to it, the world.  You may be saying, how could one take heart after a year like 2010?  Well, that is precisely what may just help you embrace your life in 2010!

If you are one of those for whom the year went very well, this will be a very easy and joyful task.  If you encountered significant disappointment, loss, or tragedy it may take more effort to find the wins.  Possible wins could be, you:

= Took time to feel, to actually experience the event or situation.
= Dipped deep into your well of faith and endurance.
= Came together with family/friends/community to gain comfort.
= Discerned the learning from the hardship.
= You recommitted to fully engage in living.

All of these actions are ones that cultivate RESILENCE, and resilience will help you build a strong foundation for 2010.  Throughout 2010 you will be reading more about RESILENCE* on this blog as part of the CORE strategy for cultivating Joy, Vitality and Passion in your life.
 
On my flights to and from Salt Lake City to visit family for Christmas, I heard personal stories of hardship and dissatisfaction.  As I listened to these individuals, I was reminded of the power of perspective and how getting distance from our own situation can provide that.   With a fresh perspective we can be much more at choice!

Sometimes, talking things out with a trusted friend, family member, coach or counselor who will truly listen and help you find your best answers can help provide that fresh perspective.

In my own case, I am clear that I want more sunshine – literally and figuratively!  Let me know what you would like more of in 2010. 

Thanks to all of you that contributed to the sunshine and the learnings in my life in 2009!

*If you want a head start on building resilience, read the APA (American Psychological Association’s) article on resilience at:   http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx#

By admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

May Love Abound

December 23, 2009 – 12:39 pm

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. – Hamilton Wright Mabie

May peace and appreciation find its way into our hearts, and may we experience the JOY of spontaneously showing love and affection for one another during this season.

I am headed to snow country, Salt Lake City, Utah, to visit my brother and his family.  My brother forwarned me to “rest-up” since we will be keeping up a jaunty pace being with his two sons and the two lively grandsons ages 6 and 8.  Four dogs will also be added into the mix!

Whenever I am with my brother and, Dixie, his wife, in their home over the holidays, I am reminded of what love looks like!  Friends and family coming and going, laughter, hugs, sharing of the latest news from throughout their family and clan.  Gifts of food disappear quickly and packages of thoughtful gifts and food flow out the door as quickly as they flow in.

We will no doubt get out to romp in the snow a bit, yes, even me!

So, may each of you thoroughly enjoy your friends and family over the holidays, and may we even extend our sense of family as we realize how blessed we are.

By admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

REST

December 21, 2009 – 12:03 pm

You’ve got to be kidding! This time of year!!? We’ll, if we don’t take moments, minutes and, yes, even half hours out to rest as we glide through the holidays we may find ourselves with a forced HALT! During that very cold spell in the Pacific Northwest in early December I got a cold that laid me low. I snuggled under covers and got up only to drink as many hot fluids as I could or to eliminate them! The “flush” plus lots and lots of sleep and a few home remedies worked.

So, what are options for REST going forward? Well, a great place to start is to look at our schedules and get real with ourselves. As I looked at my schedule this week, I paused to check-in with myself and assess my energy levels about going to each event. For the first three of the week, there was a definite “no.” Now getting those clear answers may be a lot easier in my case because I had just had a very real reminder of the consequences of not listening to my body. So, listen not just for the “yes” or “no” which may not be so clear, but tune into the level of fatigue in your body. What is it saying to you?

Another option is to take advantage of the longer nights by going home and staying there to REST, reconnect with yourself and your wonderful intuition. As a result you may find yourself saving steps, even money by doing so! Holiday errands may become simplified. That was one of my discoveries as I “Embraced the Dark” this week.

Another benefit of taking time to rest for me was discovering my body was craving warm foods. So, I cooked up an easy Creamy Squash Soup seasoned with curry and turmeric that left me warm from the inside out! Try this easy recipe and enjoy its mood altering properties as well as its nourishment.

Creamy Squash Soup

1 medium-sized winter squash, peeled and cut into ½ inch cubes (about 3 cups)*

1 onion chopped

2 T olive oil

3 cloves garlic minced

1 T fresh ginger

diced 1 t turmeric

1 t curry powder

2 ¾ C chicken or vegetable broth

6 oz canned coconut milk

2 T fresh cilantro, chopped

Salt & pepper to taste

Sauté onion in olive oil in large saucepan until onion is soft. Add garlic and ginger and cook one minute more. Stir in spices. Add squash and broth. Stir. Bring to boil, then reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, about 10 minutes or until squash is tender.

Transfer soup in batches to blender. Add coconut milk. Process until smooth. Return to pan and reheat. Season with salt and pepper. Serve topped with cilantro.

*You can also bake a winter squash in a 375 degree preheated oven. Cut it in half, remove the seeds, and put the two halves in a covered baking pan cut side up. Put 1/4 inch water in the bottom of the pan before covering. Cook squash until tender to a fork piercing 30 – 45 minutes. If you don’t have a covered backing pan, use aluminum foil to cover it. Actually, cooking it just a bit longer may have the skin of the squash virtually fall off.

** Bonus health benefits come from ginger, garlic, turmeric and curry powder.

By admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

Space for Grace

December 8, 2009 – 1:29 pm

Sunday was set aside as an easy going day. Although I planned several things, the day felt flexible.  However, when I walked out to my car after church I saw I had a flat tire.  Plans were immediately revised.  The fact that I had planned a “flexible day,” left me in a most agreeable state of mind.  From that flexible state of mind a flat tire did not seem like a big deal.

A friend volunteered to help and we recruited another friend in the parking lot when I discovered to my dismay that I had not gotten the last flat repaired!  (Hard to believe! Thankfully they could all relate.)  What followed were a series of steps to find workable solutions for myself and the people assisting me.  My friends, women over 50, and those who assisted us all were gracious, and we found just the resources I needed.  On top of that, they got to complete their desired tasks and I got to do the errand I was hoping to fit in!

What I learned from that experience was:
= Maintain my AAA roadside coverage, I used it!
= Notice what grace seemed to show up with my flexible state of mind.
= Be generous to and grateful for friends, caring for them can create reciprocal good will.

After that experience, I am committed to calling on a flexible state of mind more often!

By admin | Posted in Connection | Comments (0)

Divas Dive In Teleclass December 9

December 3, 2009 – 4:24 pm

Our monthly Divas Dive in teleclass is underway.  Join us on the second Wednesday evening of the month from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m. Pacific time.  The next one is Wednesday, December 9.

The topic is “Embracing the Darkness.” Join other Divas to explore the paradoxes and benefits of “embracing the darkness.”  Click here for more information and to register for this FREE teleclass which you can join in on from the comfort of your home or office phone.

Questions?  email me at sandra@yoursoulsatisfaction.com.

Looking forward to being with you!

Sandra J.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sandra J.

The Diva of Delight

                     

By admin | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)